FUTURE BUSH BEGS: DON’T PASS TORTURE BILL

Apparently This One Really Comes Back to Bite Him in the Ass

W isn't too thrilled about taking one for the team.

George W. Bush has again traveled back from the future, this time with a surprising message about the so-called ‘torture’ bill being debated by Congress.
“Whatever you do, I’m begging you---don’t go down this road,” pleaded the W from the future in a surprising break from his current stance.
“Look, I never thought this law would apply to me, okay? I figured we waterboard a couple of evil-doers and then everybody goes home, right?
“I was dreadfully wrong.”
Future Bush has returned previously with the prescient warning ”that everything will turn to shit,” but this time he’s worried only about torture.
“Frankly, I didn’t enjoy the electrodes on my testicles and those dog bites are taking forever to heal,” noted future Bush at a news conference.
“I pleaded with Dick Cheney that I didn’t have any information and I think deep down he really knew it was true, but the Re-Patriot Act of 2019 declares that every American be ‘vigorously interrogated’ to determine where his or her loyalties lie.
“Eventually I woke up in a tub of ice, missing a kidney and bleeding from some places I don’t want to mention. I didn’t break, but it was only because I didn’t know anything.
“Of course, my ass hurts just the same.”