GOVERNOR OF GEORGIA: GOD F*KING HATES US

Prayers for Rain Go Unanswered, Pol Turns Bitter

Governor Perdue has a message for the Almighty.

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue is convinced the Almighty has turned against the people of Georgia after his bid to end the lengthy drought through prayer failed today.
“Clearly God is a Bastard who would rather see us all dry up and die,” offered Perdue after the lengthy prayer session at the State Capitol in Biloxi.
“Hey, we did what we were supposed to do. I even ruined this perfectly good pair of pants kneeling out in this godforsaken parking lot.
“But as you can see, it’s dry and sunny here. F*king asshole.”
Georgia, like many southern states, is facing severe drought conditions and may run out of water in 3 to 4 months if rain is not forthcoming soon. Politicians scheduled the day of prayer in lieu of planning or correcting the situation in hopes the almighty would bail them out.
Experts were divided on whether the prayer might have an impact.
“It’s well known that God hates Georgians,” says New School Theologian and Meteorologist L. Francis Schaeffer.
“God has made it very clear that the staggering genetic deficiencies of the average Georgian offend His Holy sensibilities so it is likely the prayer fell on deaf ears as it were.
“For the life of me I don’t see what Georgia needs water for anyway. It’s not like anyone is bathing and all they drink is that foul moonshine.
“I guess they just need something to wash all those pickup trucks.”